When’s the last time you learned suggestive words in your Dutch language class? Raunchy phrases that are easy to remember but almost too embarrassing to say aloud? The answer may be an obvious no since it’s frowned upon by teachers. Most likely you know the basics like how to order coffee or ask for directions. These are helpful, but in truth don’t improve your confidence in speaking the language. Nor does it stimulate real-life conversations and intimate connections. If you want to have better dialogue with the Dutch you need to think outside the box. What about something playful like dirty talk? It might sound unusual but the Dutch appreciate a good sense of humor. Anything cheeky and implicit is right up their alley! So why not? By the time you’re done reading this article, you’ll have the most sober Dutch person blushing. So, let’s talk about sex (in Dutch)!
First Off, There’s No Need to be Shy
Speaking with native Dutch speakers can be intimidating. Even expats on a B2 level have the tendency to shy away in fear of butchering words. Despite this, the Dutch are open-minded people. They respect the fact you’re attempting their language. Albert Both, owner of language company Talencoach says that, “to speak Dutch you must let go of your inhibitions. You need to open your mind, be willing to make mistakes and have fun. Embrace the Dutch language as it is. Which in truth, is full of humor, innuendos, double meanings and naughty words”. What’s so wrong with talking about previous Tinder dates or the guy you met up with last night? On average, we speak 80-90 filthy words per day. And these types of words stick closer in our minds and are easier to remember.
Yet, expats may feel self-conscious talking about these topics. They either don’t understand or it’s seen as taboo in the classroom and want to avoid embarrassment. And this is partly due to how language courses are today. According to Albert,” they teach in an asexual manner.” This makes for boring and predictable lessons that students find hard to follow. You learn at a slower pace because you’re not using the day to day language.
In Albert’s courses, he uses a unique approach. He uses a combination of personal coaching and powerful learning techniques. All while making sure you have fun at the same time. Albert mentions, “this creates a relaxed atmosphere where students feel more comfortable speaking. Students pick up information faster, at an accelerated rate.” And Dutch never feels like a chore on your to-do list. Does this sound like the type of fun learning environment you need to improve your Dutch? Check out Albert’s Dutch Brainwash to learn more. Not only will you be on your way to fluency but gain more confidence to speak with Dutchies.
Okay, But Where Do I Start?
Talking about something relatable and familiar can get the conversation going. How about sex? In the Netherlands, talking about sex is about as normal as talking about the weather. It’s an open-minded and progressive country. Therefore, this is not something you should feel apprehensive talking about. So, there should be no problem communicating with the Dutch. Keep in mind that the Dutch are direct people and speak in a straightforward manner. So you need to be clear and open about your intentions. For instance, if a girl has an interest in you and asks you out for Netflix and chill. There’s a 90% chance she means what she says. There is no hidden meaning behind this.
Learn a Pickup Line or Better Yet Something Naughty
Want to impress or seduce a Dutchie? Surprise them with one of these sultry phrases or innuendos. We’ll start slow and work our way up. Be confident and use your best judgment! Some of these lines can be bold or corny depending on the person.
- If you’re crushing on your colleague, don’t ask them out for een afspraak which is a meeting. Instead, ask for an afspraakje, which means a date.
- Got your eye on someone at the club? Start with: Geloof jij in liefde op het eerste gezicht of zal ik nog een keertje langslopen? (Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?) This is very cheesy but it might get you a laugh and perhaps a phone number.
- Have you made it second base yet? Try whispering: Ik wil dat je me uitkleedt (I want you to undress me.)
- Hoe heet je ook alweer? (What is your name again? I want to make sure I’m shouting it correctly tonight.)
- Here’s a good one: Vrij means free in Dutch. Now imagine that you are in a room with hot men or women (depending on your preference) and you felt totally free and have 0% inhibition… then what would you do? Maybe that is why vrij could also mean: make love. This makes vrijdag (Friday) a special day… it is not just the start of your weekend, it could literally mean: make love day.
- Here is an important warning: een vrijmarkt does not refer to the red district in Amsterdam. It means that during the Dutch holiday of Koningsdag (King’s Day) you can sell anything that you want on the street.
- You can try your luck by saying: Jij hebt een opening en ik heb zin (You have an opening and I have a need.) This is too much, even for the Dutch.
- Als ik klaar met je ben, zul je moeite hebben om te lopen morgen (When I am done with you, you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.)
- And lastly, if you have been dating someone for a while or are close and intimate you can say: Heb je zin in een beurt? which translates to would you like to be shagged by me?
Albert mentions, “remember that the Dutch love humor so try to keep it funny and light-hearted. They will also try to respond by saying something witty in return”. Overall, talking dirty doesn’t only limit things to the bedroom. It also expands limited vocabulary and insight into the language. Whether you’re looking for a laugh or new chat lines to try on your beau. These phrases can increase your Dutch to a higher level. After all, where is the fun in learning Dutch if you cannot laugh?