Have you noticed that anytime you learn Dutch, they often mainly teach polite things? You may have learned words like goede morgen (good morning), dank je wel (thank you) and alsjeblieft (please), and these words are indeed handy in normal and decent conversations. At the same time, you may have noticed that some Dutch people can be pretty annoying. It could be your schoonmoeder (mother-in-law), baas (boss) or partner, and then you may like to say something different, just for a change… Like f*** off. That is why if you keep on reading, you’ll learn how to say f*** off in 7 different ways.
First of all, some technical and cultural information. In English, you can use the F word – a verb that serves procreation – in many different ways. In Dutch, it somehow how does not work. So instead of using terms for making love, you must be a bit more creative and open your mind. If you translate things too literally, then it would not make sense to the Dutch mind and… a Dutch person would not feel anything in particular then.
So let’s assume that if you want to say f*** off in Dutch, you like to see that it makes sense and somehow produces an unpleasant feeling. So, let’s go; there are at least 7 different ways. You can read all of them and then choose the easiest to remember or the one you like most!
1. Dikke vinger!
Dikke vinger is the closest to f*** off because it could be sexual. It literally means thick finger. You often say it when you do not want to do certain things or certain offers are unacceptable. For example, if your boss says: werk je dit weekend? (do / will you work this weekend?), you could say: dikke vinger! Here it also means: forget it. I am not going to do it!
By the way, if you say: ik heb dikke vingers, it literally means that you have thick fingers. It could be a huge problem while texting. Imagine you write to your boss: I want to get laid, instead of I want to get paid; then you never know… The answer of your boss could be: dikke vinger or… wat een fantastisch idee! Ik zie je morgen onder het bureau!
2. Rot op!
One suggestion Dutch people love to use is that you need to disappear somehow. If you say: de tomaat rot, then it means that the tomato is rotting. Op means that something disappears, like time is up in English, or you could use something up.
Therefore rot op literally means: disappear by rotting away. It is like get lost or go to hell in English. The message is clear now… with rot op, you want someone to disappear…
3. Sodemieter op
A great variation is sodemieter op, which is literally sodomite off, bugger of. Sodemiet is an alternative version of Sodomiet, and it refers to a Sodomite, an inhabitant of the ancient city Sodom and Gomorra, which according to the writings of the Bible, was an evil and wicked city.
Sodemieter op is very close to the expression bugger off! As you may already guess, it sounds quite strong in Dutch.
4. Je kan de pot op
Another technique you could use is to tell that people need to go elsewhere. The reason is simple… you need to disappear. Quite often, Dutch people like to suggest that you need to go in the direction of een pot… which is also a slang word for toilet. It sounds a bit like: why don’t you sit on a toilet?
Another popular place is een boom, a tree…. Then you say it like this: je kan de boom in, that you could roughly translate with: why don’t you climb a tree?
5. Ga toch fietsen!
This expression is very Dutch ☺. It simply means: go and bike! Toch in this sentence is hard to translate. It just strengthens the suggestion that sounds like an imperative. Probably in English, you would say: just go biking, or why don’t you just bike and of course, the idea is that you need to disappear. Preferably on a bike, because then you’ll disappear faster!
6. Krijg de tyfus!
Another technique you could use is simply wishing someone certain diseases… Tyfus is extremely popular. It refers to typhoid, of course, and another popular disease is cholera. Klere in Dutch is the slang version of cholera, so if you hear: krijg de klere! It simply means: get cholera!
Just for some advanced speakers: krijg de klere is different from krijg de kleren… Kleren are clothes, and klere is a disease. If Dutch people shout at you krijg de klere! It never means that you hope that you will get a new and nice T-shirt 😉
If you like, you can be very creative. You can also say: krijg de apentyfus (monkey typhoid) or apenpokken (monkey pocks)
Another weird word you may hear is rambam, and no one knows what it means. It could be a disease, or maybe it means that you get shagged by an elephant… Rambam is a very decent word, however, so if you like to scold in a very decent manner, then krijg de rambam could be the right construction for you…
7. Bekijk het maar!
This last one is hard to recognize… If you say: ik kijk, then it means I look, or I watch, and if you say ik bekijk, then it means that you look at it more closely, that you examine it. You can say, for example, ik bekijk een object, then you look at an object with your full attention….
Bekijk het maar literally means: you can just look at it. Then it could refer to a certain picture that exists in the mind of a Dutch person, but this picture will never turn into reality. For example, your boss may have a great vision that you work 10 hours more and get 20% less salary, but then you can simply say: bekijk het maar! You can look at it; it is not going to happen!
Congratulations! Now you can use at least 7 different ways to say f*** off in Dutch, and… this is only the beginning… Dutch people are very creative, and there are many other expressions that you can use. Dutch people use these expressions all the time….
It might be important to use these expressions at the right moment for your mental well-being. You could start with the light versions first, or simply say nee…. But… if certain Dutch people do not get your message, then you may want to use expressions that are a bit stronger. Make sure that your voice and tone clearly support your message! Once again, this is an important skill that you need to master now and then so that you can live a happy life in the Netherlands….
Have you heard some of these expressions already? Which one would be your favorite one? Please share your thoughts here…..
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