How to Commit Your Perfect Crime in Dutch

Does crime somehow fascinate you and would you like to know more about it in Dutch? Here are a couple of words that can help. We hope that you will not walk the criminal path for real, of course, and somehow, crime can help you add many more words to your Dutch vocabulary. On top of that, you need to know what could be going on in the world, right?

1. Is een Crime Always een Misdeed?

Criminaliteit is the easiest word for “crime,” but in Dutch, there is also a more Germanic word: misdaad. Misdaad is literally a misdeed, but in Dutch it is quite serious. Although it literally means that you did something wrong, it is not about petty things, een misdaad is always serious. The things that you do are awful!

Then you can change misdaad into misdadig, and then you have an adjective, the word for criminal. By the way, any time that you think that something is unfair, you can use the word misdadig as well. If you don’t like the words that your schoonmoeder (mother-in-law) says to you, then you can also use the word misdadig.

On top of that, you can add -er to misdadig, which then becomes misdadiger. Een misdadiger is a person now, a criminal. Of course, you could use the word de crimineel as well. For me, as a Dutch person, apparently there is a subtle difference between crimineel & misdadiger. Crimineel sounds a bit more distant and technical, while misdadiger is a bit creepier and more threatening. This could be a personal interpretation, though.

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If you read a crime novel, they always call it misdaadroman. Somehow, the word misdaad provokes a bit more suspense.

By the way, now that you know that misdaad is a misdeed, you can also guess the word daad now. Exactly, daad means deed. Can you now guess what een dader is? Een dader is someone who did it, and it is always about crime. In English, you can use the word culprit.

By the way, imagine that all of a sudden all de stroopwafels are gone. Now you can shout: Wie is de dader? Who did this? Saying it like this implies that somehow you think that someone ate or stole all the stroopwafels. One thing is certain. If you take all the stroopwafels just for yourself, that could be at least a bit selfish, right?

So now you already have two words: criminaliteit & misdaad, and there is another word as well: het misdrijf. Het misdrijf is literally a misdrive, and in English you could also call it a criminal offense.

2. If You Steal This, Then it Might be a Good Thing

Let’s start with some ‘light’ crimes. In Dutch, you have stelen, which means “to steal,” and een dief is a thief. Although stelen is morally wrong, in most cases it is only about things and in a way, you don’t really hurt people.

Stelen, by the way, is also something you can do with tijd (time). Someone can steal your time, just like in English. And you can do it with a heart if you tell someone: je steelt mijn hart (you steal my heart), then probably you like this person very much. Then, if you like, you could also call that person mijn hartendief, which means “thief of hearts”.

3. Let’s go for the Heavy Stuff

Dood in Dutch is both dead, and death and doden means to kill. According to the Bible, doden is a sin, and you can also do it with time. If you like, you could say: ik dood mijn tijd met kruiswoordpuzzels, so now you kill your time with crossword puzzles.

Then, instead of doden, you can also use moorden, which sounds somehow more cruel. In English, you have to kill and to murder, so it is easy to know the difference. Een moordenaar is a murderer and een moord is murder. Don’t you think that murdering sounds a bit more sadistic and cruel than killing in English? In Dutch, it is the same…

By the way, in Dutch slang, there is also the word moordwijf. It could be a woman who murders, or this woman is so beautiful and hot that you are willing to kill for her… Een moordwijf is a woman who is often very stunning and extremely attractive, and she is easy to fall in love with.

4. If You Don’t Pay, I Will Sing

Chanteren sounds a bit like chanting in English. And if you speak French, you know that “chanter” means “to sing”. So why would chanteren be een misdaad?

Chanteren comes from chantage, which means “blackmail” in English. Chanteren is a French word, and if you speak Spanish, then it is easy to derive it from chantaje. Chanteren means to tell a person they need to pay you something, and if not, you will share a secret and start singing about it in public. If the information that you have about the other person is painful enough, then of course, it leaves no choice but to avoid that person.

Just for your information, did you know that many mothers are good at it too? If you like, you can emotioneel chanteren, then you can emotionally blackmail a person. For example, your mother may tell you that all day she is sitting alone in her house, far away from where you live, and that you should come more often. With emotioneel chanteren, you master the skill of making other people feel guilty, so they are willing to do certain favours for you.

5. It has Nothing to do with a Smoothie

Liquideren literally means turning something into liquid. It is another way that you simply kill a person. Very often, the motives could be political or simply revenge. During the Second World War, liquidaties were quite popular, and in the criminal scene, they are still popular today. Quite often, the reason is that you still owe someone money. So be careful and make sure that if you do any criminal activities, you don’t end up in too much debt.

By the way, have you ever heard of the word opruiming? This is a clearance sale, a shop wants to sell as much as possible at a huge discount. You can also say: ik moet mijn bureau opruimen, I have to clean my desk. But opruimen is also something you can do with certain people, if you think that they stand in the way. So if you tidy up, it can also mean that you kill certain people that you don’t like!

6. Welcome to the Underworld!

Onderwereld literally means “underworld,” and it might make you think of Greek mythology. The thought is that under our world that we know, there exists something underneath it, that you can call onderwereld, the criminal world.

The only problem is that the distinction between normal life and onderwereld is not always that clear. Even in official positions, Dutch people may have contacten met de onderwereld. The line that separates both worlds can be very thin, and some people may sometimes wonder if there is a separating line at all…

7. Be Careful! It does not Always Pay Well!

Just to make sure you will not start walking the path of crime in Dutch, there is a saying I like to share: misdaad loont niet. Een loon is wage in Dutch, so it literally means that crime does not reward, it does not pay. It is better to be honest and to earn your money in honorable ways.

According to many different cultures, there is one playfield for criminals that seems relatively safe… politiek… politics… In many countries, many people believe that politici (politicians) lie, steal and sometimes murder, if they can start wars, all that they want. What do you think? Could politicus be an alternative word for dief? Share your thoughts here.

When you are ready to take the next step, check out Dutch Brainwash. This masterclass is a tried-and-true program that can revolutionize your Dutch.

Albert Both

Talencoach / Dutch Flow Now