How to Feel Less Nervous Speaking Dutch

Have you been learning Dutch for a while, and do you notice that, somehow, if you like to speak Dutch, you feel worry or stress? Here are 4 ideas that can help.

Moving to a new country and then learning and speaking the language of that country. It seems to be a logical and natural combination. Chances are high that this is what you imagined when you came to Holland. But as it turned out, speaking Dutch is not that easy. Yes, you took a Dutch course, and that is one of the many things that people recommended. Maybe you already understand a lot of Dutch, but somehow it does not feel great. Whenever you want to speak Dutch, you feel nervous, and who knows? Many more negative feelings and emotions may come up.

Would it be nicer to feel great while speaking Dutch? This is a stupid question, of course. Of course it would! But how can you feel more relaxed then?

In This Article:

1. Making Mistakes Is a Great Thing
2. Don’t Worry About What Other People Think
3. Confidence Is a Result, Not a Start
4. Choose Your Focus Wisely

1. Making Mistakes Is a Great Thing

What is your first goal when you say something in Dutch? Most people would say: I like to be understood. But at the same time, many people hope – sometimes in secret at least – that what you say is perfect and that everything that you say in Dutch makes perfect sense.

Maybe you already learned some languages in the past at school when you were young. The system was very simple. Every time that you made a mistake, you would get a lower score. No wonder that most people have been conditioned to avoid making mistakes, because the fewer mistakes that you make, the better it is, right?

Although speaking with a minimum number of mistakes is always great, it should never be your first goal. Instead of going for perfect execution, here is something else that you can do. Why not decide that you are going to make many mistakes? Why? Because if you make mistakes, then you can learn new things.

Whenever I give my Dutch language classes, my students need to sign a contract that says they have to make at least 65,000 mistakes. When they sign it, some of my students laugh, sometimes a bit nervously, but after a short time, all my students love it. Having permission and the freedom to experiment with new things is extremely liberating, and then every student discovers this simple truth. The more mistakes you make, the faster you will learn.

2. Don’t Worry About What Other People Think

Another thing that often stands in the way is worrying about what others may think of you. You might fear that people question your intelligence or that they see you as a child. You say something in Dutch, and you see that Dutch people laugh or they give you certain looks. And then all of a sudden, your mind starts to wonder what that could mean, and it is very creative. The only problem is that your mind isn’t very positive and somehow loves bad horror scenarios.

By the way, have you noticed that it can also happen when you speak your own language? For example, you may give a presentation, and then you see that someone looks away and starts to yawn. ‘Oh no,’ you think, ‘people think that I am boring.’ Can you see how quickly it happens?

In psychology, we call it reading minds. You look at other people and all of a sudden you are convinced that you know exactly what other people think. The truth is, of course, that you have no idea at all. All people on this planet have so many different things going on in their lives and at least in their heads. Most people think of many different things at the same time. Chances are high that their reaction has nothing to do with you.

On top of that, Dutch people all remember that once upon a time, they had to learn a new language and that it takes some time to be good at it. That is why the chances are low that Dutch people will think you are stupid when you make a mistake. However, there is one important thing that you need to understand. If something that you say is funny – correct or wrong – then we will laugh. It is not laughing at you; if what you said is funny, then why not laugh about it?

3. Confidence Is a Result, Not a Start

Not feeling confident when you speak Dutch is not necessarily a bad thing. It is a simple signal that you need to be more alert. Although annoying at times, it is rather neutral. The message is clear: make sure you practice a bit more and pick up some new things. It should never mean that something is wrong with you, although it is very easy to interpret it that way.

Many people are looking for confidence first, so they can start speaking Dutch, but confidence will come later, after you have learned from the many mistakes you have been making.

By the way, here is a little secret. Did you notice that sometimes, some Dutch people are too confident? The problem with confidence is that it can also stand in the way. If you believe you already know everything and that what you say is perfect, it can also stop you from learning. The fact that something inside of you tells you that you have to be alert and that you still need to learn is by itself a good thing, and you can embrace it.

Another way of saying it is that stupid people often feel confident, and that the wisest people keep doubting. They know that they can still learn new things, and sometimes the problem is that the voices of ignorant people are louder than the voices of people with more wisdom.

4. Choose Your Focus Wisely

Whenever you learn a new language, you can choose between two ways of looking at things. You can focus on all the things that you don’t know, and you can focus on all the things that you know.

I studied many languages at the university, and although I learned many new things, every time that I learned more, I got more aware of all the things that I did not know. The sad truth is that more knowledge does not automatically lead to more confidence and positive feelings; on the contrary.

I remember that when I graduated, I felt really frustrated for a long time, but then one day I got a new idea. Instead of focusing on all the things that I did not know, I started to focus on all the things that I did know. It sounds like a simple idea, and it had a great impact.

If you focus on growth, it is a lot easier to feel excited about speaking a new language. When you learn new things, and certainly when you enjoy making mistakes, speaking a new language turns into a great adventure.

Most people focus on remembering and studying loads of stuff and information, but here is something important that you need to do first. Whenever you learn and whenever you want to speak a new language, the most important question is: how can I feel more at ease about it? How can I enjoy this more? How can I have outrageous fun with it?

The great thing is that when you focus on these last questions, you will be able to find it. And yes, it often means that you have to choose a method that really suits you. Why would you torture yourself with books and courses that are not a good match for you? Learning and speaking Dutch is all about freedom. There are many ways to learn it, and always remember: speaking Dutch should energize and inspire you, because if it does, then soon enough you’ll speak much more Dutch with far more ease.

When you are ready to take the next step, check out Dutch Brainwash. This masterclass is a tried-and-true program that can revolutionize your Dutch.

Albert Both

Talencoach / Dutch Flow Now